Stammering: information for parents and carers
What is stammering?
About 8% of children will experience something like stammering at some point. It most often happens between the ages of two and seven years.
About 2% of adults stammer. Many people find that as they get older, they stammer less.
In the UK we say mostly ‘stammering’ or therapists say ‘dysfluency’, other countries call it ‘stuttering’. They all mean the same thing and there is no difference between them.
Stammering is when someone repeats sounds (e.g. “m, m, m, m mummy”) syllables (e.g. “I see a bu, bu, bu, butterfly”) whole words and even short phrases, stretching out of long sounds and vowels (e.g. “sssssssssssnake”) or not being able to get started on a word or sentence (getting stuck) while talking.
It is normal for stammering to come and go and get better and then worse again. It can tend to increase when the person is tired, unwell or feeling a strong emotion like feeling excited or angry.
What causes stammering?
Stammering is thought to be caused by a slight difference in how the brain is wired. In young children, this wiring is still forming, which may be why many children stop stammering as they get older.
About 80% of children who stammer have a family member who also stammers. Other factors may contribute to the onset and development of a stammer, such as the child’s speech and language abilities and emotional factors, e.g. whether the child is highly sensitive or anxious. Aspects in the child’s environment e.g. turn taking at home or in school, may also affect the child’s fluency.
Your child’s stammer is not your fault!
What you can do to help
Listen to what your child has to say, not how they say it. It’s really important that you listen to what your child has to say, instead of focussing on the way they deliver their message.
Allow the child time to talk
More often than not, your chid will know what they want to say, but it can take a little longer to come out. Please give them time to express their thoughts and feelings.
Try not to interrupt
Do not guess what your child is about to say or try to finish their sentence. This can be really frustrating and upsetting for them. Note: it is important that siblings are aware of this rule too.
Avoid telling your child to stop/ slow down/ take a breath
Although this may seem like helpful advice, it can in fact be really unhelpful and add pressure to your child to get it right the next time.
Reduce pressure
Avoid putting your child on the spot or rushing them for an answer. This can cause feelings of anxiety and may make them avoid talking in certain situations. Instead, encourage your child to take their time.
Try to use less questions
Answering questions (especially open ended questions) can be hard work. It requires the child to listen and understand what has been said; process and sequence their thoughts; and then say them aloud. Instead of asking questions, use comments. This will reduce pressure and make conversation flow more easily.
Turn taking
To encourage turn taking skills (especially with siblings and friends), you could introduce a ‘talking object’ such as a teddy or hairbrush. When the child has the object, they can talk freely and the others must listen. Ensure that everyone gets a turn with the teddy and no child talks for too long.
Building confidence
If your child is aware of their stammer and has low confidence, boost them by giving praise. This could be about anything e.g. praising their efforts during an activity, praising their qualities (listening, sense of humour etc). Alternatively, reassure your child that things might be tricky now but it will get better.
Be mindful of you how you talk about your child’s stammer
Your child may not be aware of their stammer just yet. Or perhaps they are aware and it doesn’t bother them. Try not to talk negatively about the stammer, as may give them impression that the stammer is something to be ashamed of and it may impact on your child’s self-esteem and confidence. For example: instead of saying that ‘the stammer is bad today’, you could say ‘I can hear the stammer more today’.
Be open and honest
If your child makes a comment about their stammer or asks questions about their speech, be willing to have an open conversation. Recent research suggests that talking freely about the stammer will not make it worse.
Further information
The Michael Palin Centre For Stammering